Frank,
I told you I had a tooth ache and couldn't get to bed and I came down stairs. I don't really have a tooth ache, but our talk tonight was heart breaking for me, and I know it was for you too. That's why I came down here to cry...

Anyway, I want you to know how sorry I am that I'm sick. I'm sorry that I can't keep the house clean with out help, sorry that I make you worry about me, sorry that you have to work eight hours and then come home only to have to help me before you can get a chance to relax. I wish I had the answers, that I didn't have this rare mitochondrial disease or CF (especially the two together). I don't wish it for me, but for you and Kate. For my friends and family. I know no one blames me.

I don't blame me either, but I wanted you to know that I never meant to be such a burden on you. I know you don't think of me that way, but I do. You are a great husband and a wonderful father. You have a good heart, and even though you are shy at times, I see you. And I love you for who you are. I love you for how you take care of me. I love you for being such a great father to Kate. I love everything.
I'm writing this in a letter because although I tell you often, I worry that my words do not truly express what you mean to me.
It is hard for me to have no idea what symptom I could develop next; this joint pain really scares me. Not because I can't handle the pain, but because it is another piece to the puzzle. I hate having to tell you too. It's kind of a helpless feeling, I know because that's how I feel sometimes. We may not be fighting the same battles (me being on the front line and you being the back up or vica versa) but we are fighting the same war. Hoping and praying for the same out come.I want you to know that I do not plan to give up, and I certainly don't plan to loose.
Sometimes when one of the CFer's from the on line family passes; people often say--he/she lost her battle with CF. Please don't let anyone say that about me. When I pass please know that it will be a well deserved break, and the ability to continue fighting for the people I love in heaven.

I love you.

Chrissy

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~*~Chrissy~*~ "Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your good health has vanished." -Og Mandino www.christinedunbar.blogspot.com

Awwww, So sweet Chrissy I hope I was allowed to read it lol

You are a wonderful person & have a beautiful family .. I pray for peace & pain free days for you ...

God Bless joni

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Joni 58 y/o f w c/f Married 20 years, Mother of 4 sons, Mima to Richard (4y/o) & Samuel (born 3/22/10)

(((((hugs))))) my friend.


Stacey

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Wife to David, Mom to Jordan 19 w/cf, Bronson 22 carrier & Mason 14 no cf

Thanks guys. It was an emotional night.



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~*~Chrissy~*~ "Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your good health has vanished." -Og Mandino www.christinedunbar.blogspot.com

Oh Chrissy...I won't tell Peter about this right now (he'll find it later)...it will stop him in tears...it is a beautiful letterand I love the part about death not being the end of the fight! just a different view...Love, Jeanne
I love your soundtrack...another emotional moment for me..."I'll be looking at the moon but I'll be seeing you"...was the song my best friend Sara sang into my answering machine every time she missed me! She died in 1996 (MS).
She's watching us too!

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Administrator/Moderator

Written words mean a LOT more than spoken and this is a wonderful way to share your values with all of us Chrissy. Very sensitive issue and as quiet as Frank may be, I know he is not deaf or blind. You are such a beautiful person Chrissy and God will take care of you too with Frank and Kate.

On a more family oriented note; I'm waiting for the video of your cook-off using onions. I especially want to see how Kate's turned out and also who won.

You are a special family and daily in my prayers.
Peter

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Leave it better than you found it.