We all have the right to choose.
Choose how we live our life.
Choose whether to have children.
Choose whether we take our meds.
Choose whether we smoke.
Choose whether we fight for our health.
Choose whether we are tired of it all.

But I need to vent here about people's responses to the choices some of us are making or have made.

This site is supposed to be helpful and supportive to those who are seeking advice or just stating facts but there are those who have to throw in their negative opinions such as the person who called a poster "an idiot" for stating that they still smoked. Or those who downgrade a CF person who is trying to make the decision of whether to have a child or not.

I used to be quite active on the site back when Quoof was and pulled away for quite a while. (Quoof and I had many discussions about the negativity here).

I returned @6 months ago and have to say the negativity is not as bad as it was but there shouldn't be any.

An opinion on a subject can be stated in such a way that the original poster doesn't feel like they have been attacked, nor should they be attacked.

I am 62 now with CF, PFT's 14 - 24% (depending on the weather, humidity, etc.) I use to work 16 to 18 hours a day, 7 days a week running a campground and in the winter working along side my husband running and doing the bookwork for our convenience store. Now I sit at home on 02 alone many hours a day and evening while everyone else is out of the house working or just getting on with their lives. I use a scooter to get around the house because I can not walk too far without gasping for breath. My point being that I have consciously made the choice to smoke now....I had given it up years ago and have to admit I have missed smoking since. My family knows, my CF doctors know and they all asked, "Why, why now"? My response was, "Why not now?" My CF doctor's response was, "You're right, why not, now". This is a choice I have made....you may not like it, you may not agree with my choice and you may state that you wouldn't make the same choice but that does not give anyone the right to name call or post negitive comments.

Our choices in our life make us who we are and although we may have had circumstances similiar to others, we have not walked in their shoes, lived their life nor gone through EXACTLY the same things.

I have CF, I have buried a child with CF, I have a 41 yo son with CF and my 3 other children are carriers. I have been married twice, 14 years the 1st time and so far 29 years the second time. Life has not always been rosy nor has it been all bad but no matter what I have always had the choice to do something or not do it and I support anyone who makes any kind of choice in their life. It is theirs and theirs alone to make.

Vent complete.

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Pat,dx Feb.07, w/CF at 58yo, bronchiectosis, MAC, pseudomonas,FEV1 24-27%, 02-24/7. Daughter, Jacqueline Ann is my CF Angel.

"A smile, a wave, a hug or a warm hello....pass it on to brighten someone's day."

I think we are all right where our choices put us. It isn't right to judge others. I think it's easy to do sometimes, but it isn't right.

Haven't seen you in chat for some time. You should stop in one of these nights.

Stacey

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Wife to David, Mom to Jordan 19 w/cf, Bronson 22 carrier & Mason 14 no cf

Being one of those negative nancy people sometimes (okay, alot), I have to say, it is a downer to us working to keep our lung function up when people post about smoking because they think it will never hurt them. Especially after having been to lung transplant clinic at 16, there is more to the judging picture than it sometimes appears. However, if someone is 62 with CF and they want to smoke- I say go for it. Seriously. They've worked their whole life around having this lung disease, and if they've decided that this is really what they want then that's fine.

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April, 17 years old w/CF and CFRD. "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans" -John Lennon

Hello my sweet Pat,
You know you insprire me always. You are a strong, knowledgeable, graceful ,gifted, loving lady.
When my mother was dying of lung disease, which she was to young and they didn't know much at all about CF, she smoked PallMall . By the time she was diagnoised with all the problems with CF, the diabetis, PI, and every infection known of , she was on Hospice ( unfortionatly it was a creepy hospice). At first she was always told she had a resporatory infection, more pneumonia than I can count, that they could never clear up, and didn't understand all of her other things.
She had to get a trache, which took away her voice , but, we knew sign language, but , from the damage of the trache, she couldn't talk ,eat, or drink her daily cup of coffee, or smoke, for the last 9 months of her life.
She was completly bed ridden for 9 months, 4 of it in the hospital , the rest of it was with me .

I used to pray that she could have a smoke , just one more smoke, or just one sip of coffee, or one bite of food , that didn't come from a feed tube. My sisters didn't understand why I wished for her to have a smoke. I told them the same thing , if she could , why not now. I learned so much from my mother during those last 9months of her life. I wanted to give her anything I could to make her happy. She signed , just you, hold my hand, that's all she needed , and for me not to get mad at my sisters because they blamed her illness on her smoking.

Believe me if she could had smoked one more time , I would had lit the cig up for her. But, due to the damage from the trache and the house having tanks of liquid oxygen , we would had been blown to the moon if someone had lit anything in there, plus she didn't have the disire at that time anyway.
She was the most amazing person that I will ever know to this day. The most important thing she taught me is try not to judge people. None of us are perfect and never will be. We can only help when we are asked, and even then , we may not be able to help, even if asked.

Choice's , yes , we can make good one's , and we make bad one's . But, when we make the bad one's , and I have made many, I hear her whisper to me, it will be okay, and people will judge you , but, don't let it bother you, you are strong and you will get through this. And help those that have made a bad choice ,but, do not judge and as long as it comes from your heart then you know it's right, because you are not standing in their shoes. Just be there for them, that is the most important thing you can do in your life , is to be there for them when someone needs you.

I have seen policemen "men", look down at a young woman who had been beaten almost to death , and ask , well why were they with this person. Then when a woman "lady" police officer is called to the site, she take's the men officer's out side and literally chews them out for judging that young woman , that had just been through a tramatic experience and needed Help, not to be judged for making the wrong choice,she needed love.

Yea , we can make choice's , I carry guilt if I make a bad choice , but, what is done is done. I know the choice's I have made , have made me better. And it doesn't matter if someone doesn't like a choice I make, "as long as the choice is coming from my heart, and won't hurt someone else."

So, Pat, smoke all you want, I will not stand in judgement of you smoking. Just don't blow your house down with the oxygen, LOL. And you have been through so much , just know I am here for you if you ever need anything. And I already know you are here for me,,,,, and I thank you with my heart and soul for that. You are very dear to my heart, karla

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Karla,Nana to,'THE LOVE OF MY LIFE', Makailyn,now 8,diagnoised @2.5yrs w/CF,Gene Mutations DF508 & T1036I(rare)Pseudo&Staph since diagnoised,Pancreatic Insufficient,Asthma,Sinus,HIB,Rhizopuz,Hx RSV@age3.5yrs, Enterobactor Clocae,Alcaligenes, Achromabacter Xylosoxican,and now serious Pancreatitis problems,ect,ect,Well we all know!!!